WIll the Sick people....

Please stay home.

At work this week it seems that everyday there are about 5 more sick people then the day before. So many coughing, sneezing, achy, grouchy people.

Makes me feel like shutting myself in the house and not coming out for a week. I don't want what they have and I don't want my kids to get sick. Regardless of this Swine Flu outbreak and all the hoopla about it..... people are spreading germs and have a complete disregard for others.

If you are sick just stay the heck home for a few days and get better.

Summer please get here quicker!

11 years and healing

I wrote this last year- so this year it's been 11 years.
It's important to put a face to domestic violence. Remember there are many more out there that you might not be aware of.

10 years ago on Mother’s day…… my life changed forever.My 1st marriage ended.It was Sunday afternoon we had just finished with brunch with my gram and mom.Took the kids home, was feeding the oldest soup and the youngest went to bed.My husband was ticked; something was bugging him, something I did (of course).He told me to leave. I said NO, he told me to leave again and I was kinda tired of him being so bossy and just being mean. I said the baby is asleep and the other one is eating lunch. It is easier for you to leave if you want to be alone you can leave.He raced down the hallway grabbed the baby out of the crib and threw her in my face and said she isn’t sleeping anymore now leave….. Some switch in my turned on, something clicked, the warning sirens went off- “Get out”. I turned to run for the phone because I knew rights then I don’t think I am going to make it out of this. He threw the baby across the room- thankfully she hit the couch and bounced along with the cushion to the floor.As I grabbed the phone and hit the 9- he grabbed me and flung me around. The phone went flying – shattering as it hit the floor. I remember to this day the grip he had on my right hand and then the next thing I know- I am up against a wall- being slammed against it. He had me by the neck of my shirt and had lifted me off the ground and was slamming me back and forth into the wall. Each time he did this his fists would pound into my chest. He stopped and I ran for the phone in the other room- he was right behind me.Then I got loose and ran to the other room for the other phone. So many things were racing through my head at that moment. Am I going to die, oh he is sooo mad, and please stay at the table eating, please don’t get down (my oldest daughter). He kept just screaming at me to leave and so I was able to calm down and get him to listen- I said okay I will leave let me call my mom and see if she is home. Let me see if the girls and I can go over there. He followed me to the office where I picked up the phone and I asked if he would go check on the girls. I dialed 911 as fast as I could and as soon as someone answered I said “ I need help now- my husband is going to kill me” then he came back into the room and sat there staring at me. I pretended to be talking to my mom. The operator picked up on it quickly and said “he is in the room with you isn’t he” “YES” “okay just answer what you can and I have dispatched the police cars whatever you do don’t hang up” so came the series of questions, are you alone, is this your address, he asked if kids were there and right at that moment my oldest walked in “ Hi honey can you go check on your baby sister, mommy will be out in a minute” he said “you have 2 kids- girls?” “YES” then it seemed like hours but I know it was probably only a minute. I told my husband oh my mom got another call and I am waiting for her to come back on the line. Then the doorbell rang. I am in the back of the house I can’t see anything- I can’t see the kids. My husband leaves, and then I hear voices “Sir, Your under arrest, where’s your wife” that moment I was shaking so hard no it was trembling. And I released everything. I just started crying. 2 police officers came in; I was still on the phone with the operator. Who I thought was the greatest person in the world and still is in my mind to this day. God was there every minute orchestrating my rescue. I hung up the phone and the officers went to go handle my husband and paramedics came in. I wanted to see my kids. The oldest had tried to come between me and my husband (she wasn’t his) she was screaming at him and I was so afraid that if she did or said just the right thing he would hurt her. Thankfully I was able to stay between them and get her to go play and do something. I had bruises all over, I thought my ribs and hands were broken so did the paramedics.I told them my mom can take me to the hospital I can’t leave my kids alone. They changed the kids diapers, gave them toys. They were heroes. The cops took my husband away. I went to the hospital. Lots of pictures taken, lots of questions. Nothing broken just bruising. My hand was wrapped up and I was given meds and sent home. More to come, later……

header

okay how the heck do you make a nice header?

What's Normal?

Ahh a few minutes without having to hold- rock- bounce- feed- change a baby.
He is sleeping peacefully in the bassinet. WOO HOO! I love Aaron but man i feel like i am a brand new mom and never had a baby before. The 3 girls were nothing like this precious little baby boy. Since finding out 2 weeks ago he had reflux, getting meds and learning tons of techniques to help soothe him i think we are finally seeing the light. If he wasn't eating he was crying, fussing and just wanted to be held, rocked, or his favorite bounced. I think the medicine has finally starting working as he seems to be more comfortable and more peaceful. I can finally put him down and let him have tummy time or sleep in the bassinet without having to hold him. I can get things done and type with 2 hands :-) !!!

We spend a lot of time on the ball (you know those big huge bouncy ones) i am gonna have great calf muscles built up. I wish it wasn't raining so we could get outside and do some walking and get fresh air. But here we sit inside watching it POUR... seriously will it ever stop.

Toryn has been having panic attacks and lots of anxiety issues. Registering for high school is not so much fun. I think the school and counselors have been talking to the 9th graders for about a month now and the poor girl is so stressed out over what classes- what career path- 4 yr college, technical college- oh my so many decisions and choices to make that totally map out the rest of your life. She hasn't been sleeping at all. Not so much fun when I am already not sleeping with an 8 week old. To have a 14 yr old up all night wanting to sleep with you cause she can't sleep- ummm someone needs to make a bigger bed!!!! We went to the doctor and she gave Toryn some great advice on relaxing herself and told her no TV/Ipod 1 hour before bed, drink tea, and take melatonin. Well it's all working she has been sleeping. Now to see a counselor to get the panic attacks and anxiety under control. Poor kid i can't imagine what she is going to be like in a few years when things really get hard.

Okay i think this is all i can get away with for now on typing and updating everyone.
Take care and best wishes

Friendship...?

Tomorrow Friday March 20th I leave to go on my church's Women's retreat in Sumas, WA.
The title Abundance of friendship.... yes the entire weekend is about friendship. Not really sure what I think about that. But I can tell you ever since i signed up alot has been stirring in my mind and my heart. I don't have alot of super close friends, I have friends and people I do thing with but I am not sure I have that one friend that would be there for me in a heartbeat. I use to have those friends but things in life changed. I don't know what but things changed and those friendships are now lunches every 3-6 months or emails every now and then. Do I miss those friends? Yes, Yes I do but I don't miss the going out all the time, being away from my family, feeling like I had to choose. I don't think those friends knew my heart. I generally don't let people in that close anymore, been hurt too many times. I guess I got tired of being judged, maybe those weren't true friends.

here is a devtional i got the other day that I have really been thinking about...
Friends Who Help You Strengthen Your Character
by Steve Arterburn

As iron sharpens iron, a friend sharpens a friend. Proverbs 27:17 NLT

The dictionary defines the word “friend” as “a person who is attached to another by feelings of affection or personal regard.” This definition is accurate, as far as it goes, but when we examine the deeper meaning of friendship, many more descriptors come to mind: trustworthiness, loyalty, helpfulness, kindness, understanding, forgiveness, encouragement, humor, and cheerfulness, to mention but a few. Needless to say, our trusted friends and family members can help us discover God’s unfolding purposes for our lives. Our task is to enlist our friends’ wisdom, their cooperation, their honesty, and their encouragement.

If you genuinely want to strengthen your character, you need to build closer relationships with people who want to do the same. That’s why fellowship with likeminded believers should be an integral part of your life. Your friendships should be uplifting, enlightening, encouraging, and (above all) character-building.

Are your friends the kind of people who encourage you to seek God’s will and to obey God’s Word? If so, you’re choosing your friends wisely.

When you build lasting friendships that are pleasing to God, friendships with godly men and women whose values are admirable and whose intentions are honorable, you will be richly blessed. But if you find yourself spending time with folks whose priorities are as questionable as their ethics, you’re treading on dangerous ground. So here’s an invaluable tip for character building: be careful, very careful, how you choose your friends.

As you’re making friendships, be less concerned with appearances and more concerned with integrity. Resolve to be a trustworthy, encouraging, loyal friend to others. And make sure that you appreciate the genuine friends who, by their presence and their love, make you a better person. Friendship is, after all, a glorious gift, praised by God. Give thanks for that gift and nurture it.

Inasmuch as anyone pushes you nearer to God, he or she is your friend. Barbara Johnson

God often keeps us on the path by guiding us through the counsel of friends and trusted spiritual advisors. Bill Hybels

Character builderToday, as you think about the nature and the quality of your friendships, remember the first rule of making (and keeping) friends: it’s the Golden Rule, and it starts like this: “Do unto others . . . .” View this Daily Devotion at NewLife.com

so I am very anxious for this weekend and whats in store- what will happen How my heart will be on Sunday when I arrive home.

Aaron is also coming with me- 6 weeks old and his first trip away. I am anxious about that, getting sleep, not disturbing everyone and taking away from their time and experience.
Being over 2 hours away from home with him. I guess i need to find some peace about all this and just let it be. I am not the one in control :-)

The box

after Aaron was born our good friends from church delivered meals. One of the ladies brought a nice big box -probably from Costco. the box has stayed in the house and has been used as a pirate ship, a chair, hide n go seek spot, train car, table , and a store front.

A simple box has brought so much joy, imagination and it has been a great gift.

here's to the simple things that bring us joy!

What role....

This came to me today from Ransomed Heart Minstry. It really made me stop and think, i guess because today is my 39th birthday and i look back and wonder what did happen to all those dreams. My how the role has changed over the years.... so what role do i play now?

We come into the world with a longing to be known and a deep-seated fear that we aren’t what we should be. We are set up for a crisis of identity. And then, says Frederick Buechner, the world goes to work:

Starting with the rather too pretty young woman and the charming but rather unstable young man, who together know no more about being parents than they do the far side of the moon, the world sets in to making us what the world would like us to be, and because we have to survive after all, we try to make ourselves into something that we hope the world will like better than it apparently did the selves we originally were. That is the story of all our lives, needless to say, and in the process of living out that story, the original, shimmering self gets buried so deep that most of us hardly end up living out of it at all. Instead, we live out all the other selves which we are constantly putting on and taking off like coats and hats against the world’s weather. (Telling Secrets)

Think about the part you find yourself playing, the self you put on like a costume. Who cast you in this role? Most of us are living out a script that someone else has written for us. We’ve not been invited to live from our heart, to be who we truly are, so we put on these false selves hoping to offer something more acceptable to the world, something functional. We learn our roles starting very young and we learn them well.

(The Sacred Romance , 84–85)